Crazy Rocker Chick From Hell
by whazzupbroski
Summary: Juvia updates herself to a new version. Naturally, this quite effectively results in Gray losing his mind. [Gruvia Oneshot]


March 12th, X791 began as an average day in the life of Gray Fullbuster. Well, as average as it could possibly get, for a Fairy Tail mage, but honestly that's besides the point. In the mornings, Gray had a particular routine that he liked to follow, seeing as how it was really the only thing he had control over in his absurdly crazy life. He woke up naked, as per usual, washed himself, as usual, and made sure to dress himself, as usual. Mavis knows how many times he forgot the last step in his daily routine; he _so_ did not want to wake up the next morning in a jail cell for public indecency again. After that, he'd leave his home and walk to the guild to get some breakfast and maybe start a fight or two with the Flame Brain.

This had been his daily morning routine ever since he met Ur. After all, she was the one who drilled the stripping habit into him, and this other habit was no different. However, since he had fought against a certain Rain Woman, his small bit of peace and normalcy was disturbed. Well, not disturbed, more like... modified. Oh sure, he'd still consistently wake up naked, wash, and may or may not forget to put on something before he went outside, but now it wasn't just him who walked to the guild early in the morning.

No, now walking to Fairy Tail was him and a conservatively-dressed bluenette, who also happened to be his guildmate. When Gray says guildmate, _yes Mira he's looking at you_, he means that she is _just_ nakama to him.

Nothing more and nothing less.

Not that the woman cares, though. She'll consistently claim him as her true love and scream out "LOVE RIVAL!" to anyone, man or woman, who gets a little too close to 'Gray-sama' for her liking.

Gray could honestly say that at the beginning, he was totally freaked out by her and the fact that no matter what he did or said, she would always walk with him. Sure, Cana could be creepy sometimes when she was drunk and he'd be lying if he said that Erza wasn't downright terrifying, but he'd never really been this surprised by a woman before. _Well... more like he'd never really been this surprised by anyone._ He did eventually get kinda used to it though, after all, he was a Fairy Tail mage; unusual things happened to him practically every day and the oddity of certain habits fade away when you're busy fighting for your life. But at random times, somehow, she kept on managing to surprise him again and again.

Today's daily walk to the guild was one of those times.

He had turned around, jangling his keys around his finger after he had locked the front door, only to see an unfamiliar woman on the porch who wore an extremely tight leather corset, super skinny jeans, and really dark makeup... But why did she look so familiar?

He promptly dropped his keys.

"Juvia!?" he spluttered, looking the water mage up and down. "Wha.. what...wha..."

She smiled sweetly at him as she leaned forward, her hands behind her back. "Good Morning, Gray-sama? What is the matter?"

He quickly bent down, picking up his keys, and faced Juvia once more, sticking his hand out. "Wha... What in Earthland are you wearing?"

Juvia looked down at what her beloved was pointing at.

"Oh Gray-sama, you're so funny! Juvia is wearing a necklace from her shopping trip with Gajeel-san! Does Gray-sama find something wrong with it?" she questioned as her face contorted from a happy to slight anguish as tears threatened to fall.

Realizing the life-threatening predicament he was in, Gray quickly rambled on

"No, no, no, no, Juvia there's nothing wrong, don't cry, you'll cause a flood and I can't afford to pay for the damages...Wait, what I meant was what's with the new outfit? It's... definitely different than usual, to say the least. "

As if a switch had been flipped, the water mage's face had changed back to a happy one as she cried out joyfully "Ah! My beloved, this is the new outfit of Juvia 3.0! Do you like it?"

See, now our little Gray had a small predicament. Awhile back, he had stated at the King's party that from then on, he would be absolutely straightforward and blunt with her, seeing as he didn't want to cause any misunderstandings. But, this time it seemed that karma wasn't on his side today.

Ugh, screw it.

"It looks good on you, you look like you're some crazy rocker chick from hell. Now, c'mon, lets go to the guild before Ash-for-Brains gets there and eats all the food." he answered as he stepped off the porch. He had turned around to face her, but suddenly his face was very acquainted with her leather clad bosom as she nearly hugged the poor man to death.

...

After a very long, cat-called filled stroll to the guild hall, Gray was ready to punch something, or rather some_one_. After they passed by the third guy or so, he'd figured he wouldn't have to punch anyone else for ogling her if he gave her something to cover herself, but apparently it didn't help much. Not that he minded though; nothing was better warm-up than punching some morons. _No Mira, he wasn't a overprotective boyfriend, he just protecting his nakama, eve though he very well that she didn't need it. _Who knew that Magnolia had so many perverts? Not that he's one to talk, after all, he does strip unknowingly at most times. This time however, Gray noted with a smirk, he had stripped of his own free will and not because of his strange habit. _Gray - 1 point. Stripping Habit - 52,683_ points. _Yes Natsu, he has counted every single damn time he has done that._

He looked over at the Rain Woman, who was happily skip-walking while she mumbled something like "thirty babies..." under her breath. He couldn't but admire how the new addition to her outfit, which happened to be the said ice mage's jacket, looked like it belonged on her.

_Shit._

_He let himself slip again._

" Man, " he mumbled " I've gotta stop letting myself think like this..."

"Gray-sama?"

"Huh? Oh, sorry Juvia. Just talking to myself."

"We're already at the guild, and Gray-sama just walked past it. Is Gray-sama alright?" she inquired with a worried face.

"... Yeah, I'm fine. Let's go inside before some other guy comes over and I feel the urge to rearrange his face for talking so crudely to my nakama." He said as he pushed the doors open with one hand.

The pair walked into to the guild, careful not to trip over the hungover and/or sleeping bodies that littered the floor of the guild. As they made their way over to the bar stand, they saw a sleepy Mirajane who was wiping down the counter as she yawned.

"Was it a long night, Mira-san?" Juvia asked, her voice laced with concern.

The white haired woman rubbed her eyes with the back of her hands and exhaustedly replied "You have no idea. I swear, I must of filled a thousand mugs of alcohol, and made a twenty five-course meal for Natsu's little bet. The utter mess that everyone made was awful and everyone was too drunk or already home, so of course I had to clean up. Plus, I'm pretty sure the people left here are still passed out and you really don't wanna see the position some people ended up sleeping in."

Both Juvia and Gray made sounds of sympathy for the demoness, seeing as how they knew from personal experience how physically exhausting and mentally scarring late-night Fairy Tail parties could get. The first time she came to one, it took Juvia a whole week to recuperate, simply because she had not been expecting to see all the men at the guild to have a stripping contest against Gray. She claimed that she was unfit to be in Gray's presence after seeing that terrifying sight and that she needed mental therapy. The poor ice mage still got nightmares sometimes from that one time he got drunk and walked into a closet, only to see Max and his broom. Ever since then, Gray has never been able to look at the sand mage the same way ever again.

He shook their heads, as if to shake away the horrific memories. Gray's stomach decided then to growl, as if to prod him on, and he hesitantly asked Mirajane "I'm really sorry to bother you, but could you please make something for us to eat? I mean, I'd do it myself since you're so tired, but I'm no good at cooking and-"

She cut him off, suddenly getting a strange sparkle in her eyes, saying "Say no more. I take it that its the usual for you two, right? Iced coffee, french toast with extra cinnamon, and a chocolate baguette." She turned around suddenly, walking with sudden energy to the kitchen as she mumbled "I can't miss out on my daily dose of Gruvia now, can I?"

As soon as she was out of sight, Gray felt a sharp tugging at his hand from Juvia, who dragged him to the bar stool next to hers.

"Wow, " he muttered to the bluenette as he turned the stool to face her "Mira's so tired that your new outfit didn't even register in her brain, Juvia. How hard has it been for her since Kinana left to visit that Cobra dude?"

"Mira-san is a hardworking and busy woman, Gray-sama; she is simply too tired to notice Juvia 3.0. Anyway, the only person's opinion that matters to me is yours Gray-sama and Juvia is perfectly content with that. " Juvia stated, with a happy smile and slight blush on her face.

He looked away at this point, and it wasn't because he felt a strange pang in his chest. He almost regretted the words that came out of his mouth next, but he felt that she needed to hear it from someone.

"You know, Juvia, no matter what you wear, you always look good, so I don't see why anyone's opinion should matter. You should listen to yourself and care about your own opinions rather than others."

She blinked.

And then promptly fainted.

...

The End?

~or~

Should I add more?


End file.
